For those who know me, the words disciplined, passionate or driven would probably not come to mind when thinking of me. I've dabbled in those things, but they just aren't me. My most recent attempts at discipline involved flossing and walking to work. I figured if I could floss regularly, then I could do anything regularly. I linked the two in my mind. I was pretty successful... for about a week. Maybe I'll try flossing again. And I definitely want to keep walking, it's just that an hour a day really wears me out, especially my "hey, you haven't walked this much in ten years" legs.
If I could describe how I see my life, it is floating on an air mattress on a warm sunny day. There is a direct link between this and being a Christian for me. Before I believed, I was really missing something, searching but not knowing what I was searching for (or even that I was searching). When I did believe, it kind of felt like in many ways , that I had arrived, so to speak. I do experience a different kind of searching now, as the sub-title of this blog will illustrate, but for the most part I feel more at rest than anything else. I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not more driven to things, like producing, creating, evangelism, etc. But is that more of a cultural guilt than anything else? I don't know. Am I lazy, or just largely satisfied with life God's given me? I do have my issues and problems, but overall I'm pretty happy with life.
I suppose this is mostly a mumbling, thinking out loud post. But at least you got something to read for your troubles...
2 comments:
I've been trying to form a response to your post. because i know exactly what you are saying. I know God makes us all differently, and some of us ARE more laid-back, but I think we need to be careful not to use that as an excuse to lack motivation. I think it's safe for me to say this, because I'm much the same way. in any case, definitely something that's got me thinking.
I guess one of my thoughts is what does motivation look like to each person, and are we all somehow required, or maybe expected to "produce" at the same level? I do believe I have a responsibility to be faithful to what God has called me too. Are all people called to the same level of production? If I'm doing what I feel called to, but it turns out to be less than the next guy, am I not hearing correctly? Just some added thoughts. I don't normally comment on comments, but I like where it's going. Anyone else gotta two cents for us?
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