I was reading a friend's blog
today and she finished off her post with asking "What would make your life full?" That's a good question. She was also making some comparisons about doing things we are capable of rather than things we are passionate about. I feel as though these concepts are slapping me around a bit as of late.
As an aside before I get into what I mean, I've been told that I'm too honest, and I'm sure that's true. Blogging makes it possible to be too honest to billions of people, so I suppose that I must needs be careful with what I share sometimes. But I always appreciate the honesty of others, and I often benefit from it, so I'll always share what's on my heart. Anyways...
Currently, I have a job that I am capable at. It doesn't pay very well, nor is it overly stimulating from someone like myself, but I seem to be good at it. At care group this past week, I felt my passions stirring again to be in ministry. Ah, to share from God's word, to talk with, mentor and counsel people again. Even to be involved in music again, ohhhh, that would be grand. But it's the people that I miss.
At work we did this personality test thing called "colors". I am Blue. Blue people like other people. Not necessarily in the extrovert sense, but rather in the caring for people sense. One thing that the seminar dude said that stuck out to me was, "You can take a blue person and lock them up in the basement to do filing or something, and they may be the best filer you've ever had, but in a short while they will shrivel up and die because there is no one around for them to care about." I think that describes kind of where I see myself.
But then why did I just turn down a job at a church? Well, it wasn't full time, and it didn't pay very well for starters. It just wouldn't have been a good situation for us I don't think. But I still long for some sort of ministry position again. I know what they are like, and sometimes I wonder "why would I want to go through that sort of stuff again?" The only answer I can think of is that I am passionate about those things, and that I think they are a part of what gives me a "full life". That, and being able to play and create music. I rarely feel "fuller" than when I am being musical. Yes, the album is still in process, but honestly I'm pretty sure it should be done this summer.
Thanks for reading to the end... I appreciate it.
2 comments:
Thanks for the glimpse into your heart. All I can say is that I know that God has given you those passions and desires for a reason. He is working out His purpose in your life according to His timing. And I can completely relate to the "waiting for what might be to come and not feeling like you are where you are meant to be" feeling :) Seeing your desire for ministry, I'd say that is probably where God will put you - so until He gives you the green light, just keep growing in Him and enjoying where you are right now - He has a purpose for this time in your life, just wait and see!
We are praying that a great position will open up for you to use the gifts and passions God has given you for ministry. I believe that God gives us those passions for a reason, and He will provide a way for you to use them.
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