I've always flipped back and forth with this one. I get stressed out about how we're going to pay for things, yet in the back of my mind, I always believe it will be OK. I step out in faith, believing that God will provide, yet I get this nagging feeling that I shouldn't be doing or buying whatever it is. One thing I can say pretty certainly is that God has always come through. There's been lots of times where God has provided things I thought were impossible. When I went to Paraguay, I didn't have enough to buy health insurance. I figured I'd somehow get some more money. Didn't happen. But when I called the place, they had changed their rates, and the amount of money I had was pretty much exactly how much I needed.
After I was fired from our church in Vancouver, we attended a pentecostal church in Langley for a while. One day, a random guy came up to us after service and told me that God wanted me to not worry about how I was going to provide for my family. Pretty pertinent information at the time, I'd say. For the first few years here in Saskatoon, I didn't make very much money, but it's always been enough. As our rent would go up, God would provide a new job or what have you. When we decided we wanted our own house, bam, everything came together in ways I never would have imagined.
All this to say that God has again and again proven Himself faithful, but yet, I still doubt. I had this idea of going and helping in Haiti with the relief efforts there. But my first thought is, "how am I going to come up with $2500 in two weeks?" I guess that's not entirely up to me. If God wants me to help out there, He'll make it happen.
One a side note, Jesus tells us to store up treasures in heaven, but He doesn't feel the need to elaborate on what exactly those treasures are. How does one store up these treasures, and what exactly are they? We usually equate them with good deeds; helping others, preaching the gospel and such. I wonder if it has always been understood this way. What about a thousand years ago? How did catholic monks see it, or the average coptic joe? Are there different understandings, or do we all more or less see it the same way. Or did I miss something really obvious?
2 comments:
Dressing like flowers and eating like birds seems a lot easier when you don't have dependents. All I can say is that we are walking out a very similar journey.
I actually meant to add that point, too. Thanks, Marla. Most of my worries revolve around my family. I think if it was just me, I'd probably not stress out so much.
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