Living Up to Dying

Matthew 16:21-28

In my own life, Jesus' statements here are the defining points of what He's trying to get across to us. Whoever wants to follow after Jesus must "die to self". Whoever wants to save his life must lose it. As I approach my life and what God has called us to, I always in the back of my mind measure things against these ideas.

What does it mean to die to self? I don't think I have that nailed down, and I doubt I will ever grasp all of the implications. But it's not the "knowing" it's the "doing". Putting others first is easier said than done. Putting down the things that I like for the sake of Christ is easier said than done. I'm never sure that my convictions are strong enough to compel me to do half the things I know I should in the first place.

I look at someone like Bruchko, and I feel like anything I try to do is pretty meaningless. If you're not familiar with him, Bruchko was a guy from the States who just picked up and went to Colombia, with nothing. He learned the language, went deep into the jungle and shared the good news with one of the tribes there. He basically gave up everything to go and tell these people about Jesus. Is that the standard by which I should measure myself. If so, that's a pretty high standard.

I wonder if I waste too much time. It's not that I spend hours doing nothing, but rather that I don't seem to do much constructive with regards to "building the kingdom of God". I try to live a life that's honouring to God, but is that enough?

The other thing I've noticed, is that not many others seem too much concerned with this. Maybe it makes people uncomfortable to think that Jesus has lofty expectations of them and their time and their resources? I rarely hear anything other than passing reference in sermons. I used to try to include it whenever I could, but often felt like people weren't that interested in hearing about it.

I know I'll be contemplating what it means to "die to self" for the rest of my life. It's central to my understanding of what Jesus wants from me. My only hope is that I will actually be able to live up to dying.